Some days, my life seems to flash before my eyes. It feels like I've had so many lives. I've changed so much. Not necessarily for the better. Not necessarily by choice. But these changes have made me who I am today. Each part of me has a history that no one knows but me. They remind me that I am an individual and I leave a footprint that no one else can fill. How strange now to find myself day after day sitting in a cubicle. Just remembering. That stinging sensation. Maybe I haven't changed.
I remember my English teacher, but I don't remember her name. She was a pretty blonde at the high school program at the local community college.
One day she gave me some advice. She said in a soft voice, "speak quietly and slowly as if every word you have to say is very very important."
We read Lady in Red, and wrote essays about the poem. As I read it today, I can still hear her voice.
lady in red
without any assistance or guidance from you
i have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a day
i have been stood up four times
i've left 7 packages on yr doorstep
forty poems 2 plants & 3 handmade notecards i left
town so i cd send to you have been no help to me
on my job
you call at 3:00 in the mornin on weekdays
so i cd drive 27 1/2 miles cross the bay before I go to work
charmin charmin
but you are of no assistance
i want you to know
that this waz an experiment
to see how selfish i cd be
if i wd really carry on to snare a possible lover
if i waz capable of debasin my self for the love of another
if i cd stand not being wanted
when i wanted to be wanted
& i cannot
so
with no further assitance & no guidance from you
i am endin this affair
this note is attached to a plant i've been waterin since the day i met you
you may water it
yr damn self