Anger and feelings of disapproval build up and then are released through different methods. We can exemplify this situation by using the image of an "anger" balloon. Each time something happens that we do not like, air is forced into the balloon and it starts to expand. Eventually, air has to be let out of the balloon. How anger is expressed is different for different people. Some people let anger build up until their balloon pops, and when this happens there may be an explosive outburst of anger over a minor annoyance. After this display of anger, there is usually a period of control until the balloon blows up again. Other people release air from the balloon every time it starts to fill. These are the individuals who appropriately express their feelings at the time they occur. Some other individuals release air through passive-aggressive maneuvers, displacement, or physical complaints.
Techniques to Avoid the Buildup
A good technique to avoid the 'buildup', (which will sound a bit negative - but is really beneficial), is to expect it. Expect that someone might say something rude, or annoying, bother you by looking over your shoulder at work, cut you off in traffic, something damaging your vehicle, or anything else. This allows you to at least think of a measured response before it actually occurs and look like you have a cool head.
I am no expert at this and I need to continue practicing what I preach. But doing this may even give you a bit of self confidence that you were able to stay at least semi-cool and give an appropriate response.
If the person can realize that they have an issue such as this, and if they can have empathy, they will more than likely be very willing to improve. This next statement will be very obvious, but hind-sight has made clear that it is so much better to realize a trouble in yourself before its too late. Empathy isn't the easiest thing to grasp until its more than likely too late.
Sorry for the ramble here, and although I've re-read it a few times to make sure its good enough to post, it was what first came to my mind, so its probably best to leave it as is. Its yours to delete.
Posted by: manonymous at July 30, 2007 09:35 PM