In the future I want my actions to be made purposefully, with intention and precisely. Does this make sense? It does to me.
This is my resolution for changing my life. I'm not going to slip into a life or anything else. I want to do this with my eyes open.
The reason for this resolution is that I've just reached a major milestone and so far I've been doing it with blinders on. I was going to school with blinders on. All I could see was the finish line.
In a moment, I could change.
Collective Soul Scream lyrics
Push me the left hold to the right
I never know where to go
Burning that trail to the promised land
You're moving on out of control
Well I don't want to be some puppet on a string
And I don't want to learn from things you can't explain
And I don't want to have your views on everything
I just want to scream
Scream about hurting
Scream about mercy
Scream about something
Scream about nothing
Drop me in the hills leave me in the plains
Give me some room to breathe
The words you spell, the moves you make
I find them all hard to believe
Well i don't want to be statistic industry
And I don't want to give when all you share is greed
And I don't want to have one more enemy
I just want to scream
There you go with all your might
Giving promises by decree
Well God is great and God is good
But God you'll never be
Well I don't want to be your hospitality
And I don't want to live in false reality
See I'm the one obessed with truth and honesty
I just want to scream
This week is/has been painful. It feels like this school is a giant cocoon. After this week I will emerge a beautiful butterfly. I can't wait to spread my wings and fly! And by that I mean I'm ready to find out what will make my life more meaningful, fulfilling and to envision myself the person that I was meant to be.
Today I picked up Emily from school and we went to the campus center. Her artwork was there waiting for her. Emily and her brother made a painting last week at the Craft Center. It was really nice. Then we had dinner at the Blue Wall.
When we got home, Emily played outside with her friends. Later this evening we watched Lost. It was so good I can hardly wait to see the next episode (2 hour season finale!)
sometimes the words just flow
swirling around like a dancer on high
as I watch from down below
taking time to let time do
what I've been told
that it heals all wounds
and the truth be told I've never seen
the truth heal anything
so I wait for everything because
I think I'm supposed to
and I feel betrayed by my own
hopes
today I thought my head
might explode
but nothing happened
nothing at all
I crawled on my belly
but you noticed not
everyone does it
was the answer I got
I was a gecko in the sun
my scales they looked like rock
a beautiful lizard
sitting on a rock
but please don't take for granite
the thing you love the most
you get what you give
sometimes I feel discontented
my feelings undistinguished
appetite relinqueshed
unextinguished
I've been thwarted
broken-hearted
sometimes I feel manipulated
you know I cannot be
eating out of your hand
forever
yet I cannot leave
I cannot go
go go sweep me off my feet
the text tells me something sweet
in an instant the message
was perfectly clear
and it's as if you
were never here
I looked up the word thwart
and this is what it said,
to oppose successfully : defeat the hopes or aspirations of
oh yes that's how I feel
but you knew that
sadly
Last month I purchased tickets through TicketMaster.com. This month I found a suspicious debit on my credit card bill. It was billed as ENTERTAINMNT*REWARDS $9.00. I did not recognize this at all and furthermore why would I pay a rewards program. Who exactly was getting the rewards? I hadn't recieved any rewards...
The first thing I did was google Entertainment Rewards. What a scam! At least I wasn't the only one who was getting ripped off. I found this website, Ripoff Rewards.
I called my credit card company and they called Entertainment Rewards and I spoke to a representative about the charge (this is a monthly fee). She assured me that I had ordered this and even confirmed it with my email address. Well, if I had entered my email address it was only for the purpose of buying tickets.
I still don't know what this Entertainment Rewards is, but it sneaks onto your credit card bill when you purchase tickets through TicketMaster.com. The representative of Entertainment Rewards cancelled my subscription and refunded the $9.00.
I could listen to this song day and night. I loooove it! Also, I'm not happy with my job. But it's ok. I feel good.
I'll Cover You Lyrics
ANGEL
Live in my house, I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back,
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover - I'll cover you
COLLINS
Open your door, I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage, to lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there and I'll cover you
BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are my love,
On life - be my life
Just slip me on I'll be your blanket
Wherever - whatever - I'll be your coat
ANGEL
You'll be my king,
And I'll be your castle
COLLINS
No you'll be my queen,
And I'll be your moat
BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are my love,
On life - all my life
I've longed to discover
Something as true as this is
COLLINS
So with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
When you're worn
Out and tired
When your heart has expired
ANGEL
If you're cold and you're lonely
You've got one nickel only
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
BOTH
Oh lover I'll cover you, yeahhhhh
Oh lover I'll cover you
And here is my version of I'll Cover You in iTunes format.
One definition of wisdom which comes from Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary is, a wise attitude or course of action. I found this wisdom in a little movie called Office Space.
"Peter, most people don't like their jobs. But you go out there and try to find something that makes you happy."
I need to go out there and try to find something that makes me happy.